The Beginning?

Seriously, why do I try to write? I'm not really that good at it, and I don't really have the follow-through to keep it going! To be honest I even clicked away mid-sentence just a minute ago!

OK, so the title, Some Mad Hope, is kind of what I have right now. I think of it as a mixture between hopelessness and hope. Unfortunately it is leaning more towards the hopelessness side of things right now. I am not feeling in control of my life, and I should take the reigns back.

But...do I really want to? Maybe I like to mope and be sad? Maybe I like to isolate myself? Maybe I attract the wrong men on purpose?

How is a person supposed to know? Is everyone meant to be happy?